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How Long is too long to Grieve the Death of Somebody You Love?

I can honestly say that more often than not, my pain resulted in another person's gain. And let me be clear, these gains came to fruition only by the grace of God.

Consider this, “Not only are we not our own, likewise those whom we love don’t belong to us.” Oh how it hurts to say that! However, looking at the matter in this manner may help us put personal grief into perspective.

As the case may be, “each one of us serves as temporary guardian angels living here on God’s earth.” Our assignment: “Embody unconditional love, so that we can care for God’s children, regardless of age, race, creed or color.”

Awe, I’ll be somebody’s thinking, “other people’s losses are not mine to mourn?”

Certainly, there are no Christians thinking like that? But, if there are, please think again!”

The Bible tells us to love one another, treat others the way that you want to be treated, and who can relate to the above way of thinking. If there are, heaven help them!

Furthermore, “it goes without saying that it is not our place to set the pace, determine how long one stays in the race, or establish time limits on grief. Hence, “how long is too long to grieve is a question no human can answer correctly.”

Why? Well because God chose not to empower us to predict how long the Spirit of Grief lives within bereaved souls.

How long is too long to grieve?

It follows that, grief would have no expiration date, time stamp, directions or preference. Instead, grief moves in unpredictable ways, is omni-directional, uniquely alters hearts, and manifests as the usual aftermath of death.

Because I’ve seen and felt grief so many times in my life you can trust me when I say ” I know what you’re going through when loved ones depart.

Almost ten years ago, a few years after my mom lost her battle to breast cancer, I stumbled upon a website titled “Blog for a Cure,” I was so excited.

Finally, I thought, for the first time, since after about 2 years of mom’s passing,” I found people who truly understood what I was going through. Who knew that a series of slow-motion cessation journeys toward darkness would begin to define life.

The longer you keep coming the more likely you are to see members who stop posting with no goodbye or forewarning. And then there are those who let others know when another soldier loses the war against cancer.

Blog for a Cure has been here for me through the passing of at least 12 close relatives since mom died, and 8 of them died from some form of cancer. Members of this site have been through hell and back. They used each others life stories as sources of hope, strength and encouragement.


Another thing, Blog for a Cure is not just a #breast #cancer support website, it’s a any kind of cancer website. There are men as well as women members battling profusions of diverse cancerous diseases.

The nucleus of each life story has become “living with cancer.”

Blog for a Cure is not paying me, doesn’t even know that I’m writing this post. I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time know. If you know of somebody whose on the battlefield fighting against cancer, tell them about Blog for a Cure. Doing this may wind up being your good deed for the day! You may also click the link below.


When mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in the late 90’s doctors estimated that she would live no more than (5) years. To our surprise, mom lived (11) years after receiving the (6) year prognosis.

How Long is too long to Grieve

Dad had prostate cancer, which he found out about less than a year before passing away. Of course, that’s what he told us. At any rate, he lived too be 84 years old before succumbing to cancer.

So, that said, “I just don’t understand why I’m still grieving.”

How long is too long to grieve? That’s a statement not actually a question. I know there’s no coming back from death, but how do you kill grief? Perhaps, the first step is to make sure that it doesn’t kill you! It can you know?

“As for me, I’m drained from grieving. The kicker is, “I just realized that I’ve been grieving non-stop for s few decades, and that’s a long time.”

I’ve finally accepted a reality that I’ve been rejecting for years.

While my perception may be dramatic, an overkill, even overly theatrical, I can’t make myself feel another way.

Basically, I feel all alone, even though I’m not. But, surely I’m not the only one in the world whose witnessed cancer snuff the breath out of a mother, father, and two sisters, and live to talk about it.

Perhaps my grief is exasperated even more because mom, dad, and my two sisters left me here to fin for myself emotionally.

Now that I’ve gotten that out, I don’t think I need to list the others, because doing so would only embolden this restless spirited body of grief that seems to know my heart by name. Okay, the good thing is that I’m not as pitiful as I sound.

Furthermore, God gives me solace whenever I get like this. Tonight He reminded me of you guys, the people who never judge, always show compassion and are so genuine.

Forgive me if I made the post too much about me and how I’m feeling. My intent was to assure grieving individuals that I not only know the sting of death, but I’ve been in the choke hold of it’s long reaching arm as well.

It is important to understand that the Father does not always work things out the way we planned for them to work out.

Likewise, he puts people in our lives to be a beacon throughout life. Mom used to say “God sends you to a lot of places before He puts you where He wants you to be.”

Know that the places referenced in this bit of wisdom do not necessarily represent physical places.”

Where one’s head and heart is when God sends his helpers is just as important as where you live.

How long is too long to grieve the death of somebody you love?

No matter how hard I try the answer to this question escapes me. Can you help me?

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