Overwhelming sorrow, anger and heartache are common stages of grief. To thoroughly comprehend grief associated with death one must have firsthand knowedge. Anybody can utter the words “I’m sorry for you loss, and those words are always appropriate.”
In contrast, “if the words, “I know what you’re going through lack genuine concern the recipient of those words suffers even more. Many well-intentioned family members, friends and strangers who find themselves in the company of grieving persons don’t seem to get that!
All things considered, one must accept the inevitable possibility becoming an unintentional mourner. When that time comes, you may think that you can’t get through it, until you wake up one morning to find that your life was destined to go on.
Although I’ve lost more love ones during my lifetime than the average person does within such a short time-frame. Yet, Lord knows it could be worse, “because for somebody out there it is worse. Death has kicked in their door more often than it has kicked in mine.”
At any rate, no matter how close together encounters of grief affects us differently. There is no right or wrong way reckeon with the spirit of grief. For this reason, it is imperative for those on the outside looking in to be cognizant of the fact that grief impinges upon individuals in distinct ways. Therefore, one should consider not applying “one-size-fits-all” espressions of condolences.
So, rather than feel sorry for myself let me highlight times when bad things turned to teaching moments.
First of all, I want to thank God for giving me an overabundance of second chances. Second chances are perfect examples of how God turns bad things into good things. Opportunity is a good thing!
Believe it or not, grief can have therapeutic benefits. It can certainly make the heart more receptive to pain, kinder, gentler, and sweeter as a result of the piercing sorrow it brings about.
Over the years I’ve realized that God was breaking me down to build me up, so that He could use me to comfort others in their time of sorrow. As a matter of fact, because I’ve been there, I can go there, and be effective.
“IN THE SAME WAY I WILL NOT CAUSE PAIN WITHOUT ALLOWING SOMETHING NEW TO BE BORN,” SAYS THE LORD. “IF I CAUSE YOU THE PAIN, I WILL NOT STOP YOU FROM GIVING BIRTH TO YOUR NEW NATION,” SAYS YOUR GOD.” ISAIAH 66:9
I can honestly say that more often than not, my pain resulted in another person’s gain. And let me be clear, these gains came to fruition only by the grace of God. There is nothing that I did, nor could have done to “allow something new to be born.”
Seems like whenever I crossed paths with grief, babies were being born, in the midst of mourn? Financial rivers dried up as others began to flourish. Blessings came out of nowhere, from any and everywhere, just when needed most.
For that reason, my answer to the question, “How long is too long to grieve the death of someone you love, is nobody knows!”