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Green Love|How Important is Natural Love in a Marriage?

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4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 13- 4-8

Love is one of the many important elements of a marriage. Some would have you believe otherwise. They argue that couples can have successful marriages in absence of love. The thing is, “you cannot have a marriage that is ordained by God if there is no Green love?

While it is possible to love somebody and not desire them passionately, “love must exist in one sense or the other to meet God’s expectations.” At the same time, in most cases where passion lacks, at least one person in the relationship longs for more.

However, longing for a more passionate partner does not mean that one loves their partner any less. In some instances, couples in situations like this must learn to communicate their feelings to each other, instead of sharing frustrations with outsiders.

“But how can one keep warm alone?” Ephesians 5:25:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2: 24

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,.” Ephesians 5: 25-33

When we look at marriage from a Godly perspective success is measured and determined differently. Marriages between two people who have never loved each other can only give the Creator pause.  God is Real, the Ultimate Truth. Therefore, green love is the only love that He recognizes. Green love is unconditional, it grows, never dies, it forgives, it never hold’s grudges. Believers know all too well about the consequences of making God irrelevant in their lives.

How would the above constitute making God irrelevant? 

Whenever we take man’s word, his perception of right, or his opinion in place of Scripture we make God irrelevant.

With this in mind, let’s examine the belief that a successful marriage is possible even if two people don’t love each other. Usually, this belief is based on people’s perception of the power of the “Benjamin’s.” Many people have come to believe that money can buy happiness, love and relationships. Never mind that every time you turn on the TV there is news about some rich family meeting demise, parents cheating on each other, divorcing, and it gets worse!

Now, to know where these “forward thinkers” went off the grid you must know God. God will show you just where fallacy clashed with reality. You can lie to yourself, but you can’t fool the heart. Green love mourns, shows and feels empathy, is nonjudgmental and desires to heal at some point in time. In other words, green love hates drowning in misery.

“The heart knows what the heart feels regardless of what you try to tell it.”

In fact, the position that I take is based on Christian beliefs. Therefore, any debate outside of that scope is mute to my ear because I can’t go there.

Money is necessary, as are possessions and having a companion to share that with is icing on the cake. But let’s be clear, any relationship that’s built on worldly values pales to one built on Love and blessed with God’s love.

Trust, loyalty, good communication, mutual respect, and sacrifice for another is only possible when love is at the center. Because you cannot find love where it does not exist perhaps it’s easier for some to pretend that love is not all that God made it out to be. After all, not only can’t we tell ourselves who we will love, it’s also impossible to make somebody love you if they don’t. So yeah!

Perhaps a marriage can survive in absence of green love, but you better believe somebody is the relationship is probably loving somebody somewhere or remembering how it felt to love and be loved. Green love is spontaneous, natural and costs so much that no amount of money can buy it!

My mom and dad passed away six months apart in 2008-2009. They had been divorced for more than 25 years but were previously married for 25 years prior to the divorce. The day mom passed away, we called dad from another state to break the news, “dad cried like a baby!” Mom was his first love, possibly his only true-love. They married when dad got out of the army, he was 24-years- old and mom was 14-years-old. Yes, you heard mom’s age right! In fact, girls marrying in their teens was very common in the south when mom was a girl.

I remember thinking as I listened to dad balling, “wow, dad is crying over mom’s death after all these years?” In the interim of mom and dad’s divorce dad had re-married, become a widower, dated other “golden girls” and still managed to keep the lines of communication with mom open. That’s green love!

Consummating love is important because relationship intimacy, passion, and commitment strengthen marital unions. On the contrary, we should not minimize the importance of, complete definition of, or complex nature of passion.

Passion is more than “unbridled sex?” It is the nucleus of “green love” Remember, passion is a fuel that ignites genius, inspiration, innovation, infatuation, devotion, appreciation and eternal love! Without passion life would be so boring.

Love and marriage are more than two people deciding to “shack up” it’s an institution!

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