Additionally, they broke up because the husband was cheating. The solution to her problem seemed simple on the surface but in her head and heart it was not. There is no fight more devastation to one’s emotional health that one between the “heart and head.” Even though I was a young woman, I was able to discern her spirit. Basically I knew that it was too broken for me to go hard on her.
So, I chose to comfort her by being gentle, understanding, and reminding her that the children would have no one to care for them if she were gone. I also told her that it’s okay to love somebody as long as you don’t lose yourself in the interim, and I said, “you’re losing yourself!” In the end everything worked out for the good because I didn’t judge, I just showed love, concern and my own frailty, through my words and deeds.
There are many reasons people may experience deep loneliness. One common event that can trigger loneliness is a break-up. In fact, other than losing somebody to death, losing somebody you’re in love with is second on the list of situations that can ignite feelings of deep-seated loneliness.
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15: 12-13
At the same time, its not uncommon to see people behaving as though they don’t understand the power of love. Usually, its more like they’ve forgotten how it felt to sleep with a broken heart.
The last thing a friend should be doing is minimizing another’s hurt, regardless of how he or she feels about the either person in the strained relationship.
The Bible tells us that God is love, which in turn illustrates just how powerful love is. Women have ended life over the loss of it, and men have to. While I don’t recommend reacting to losing somebody you love by ending life, I do understand how one could end up in that dark place.
Certainly it wouldn’t hurt to become more observant of how people we know and love are feeling on any given day. If somebody wants to talk about their pain, let them. And, what ever you do, don’t judge. Believe it or not, you can encourage without judging.
You can offer guidance without judging, and you can be a friend without judging! People don’t want to be judged they want to be loved and nurtured!
“We must learn to be more tolerant of each other because this is the only way to sharpen another!”
There is nobody else like you, me or any other human in the world. Yet, God knows each one of us intimately and intricately, right down to the number of hairs on our heads. He knows who to send in our lives before we know that we’ll be needing somebody.
Essentially, the Lord made us so that we would always be necessary to one another, yet truly one of a kind. Because we are one of a kind, no one solution solves every problem, what heals the heart of one person may break another’s. Stop telling people, “I know what you’re going through, unless you know that you really do.”
The question one should always ask themselves before making this overrated statement is, “is my situation really the same as the one that’s breaking this person’s heart?”
Hebrews 10: 24-25
24. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.