More than I can bear?

Baby Josh my first great-grand

When love is fresh...
My beautiful granddaughter and her handsome husband

Okay, I got a breather. The last few weeks have been crazy. I became a great-grandmother, resumed my academic journey at Ohio Christian University, and learned that my daughter’s Sarcoidosis is out of remission. Wow, that’s a mouthful. Obviously, the most prolific “awe” is my daughter’s medical condition. Fortunately, “more than I can bear is still less than I expect?”

To refrain from focusing on too much negativity I decided to insert pictures of my new great-grandson and his parents, my granddaughter, and grand-son-in-law through out the post.

Baby Josh!

In case you’re like me when I first heard the word and didn’t know what the heck Sarcoidosis was, let’s begin with “it’s serious!” Consequently, most of you probably agree that this burden would truly be more than I can bear without God in my life.

Sarcoidosis is an inflammatory disease that affects multiple organs in the body, but mostly the lungs and lymph glands. In people with sarcoidosis, abnormal masses or nodules (called granulomas) consisting of inflamed tissues form in certain organs of the body.

My daughter was first correctly diagnosed around 2008 shy of a year into an almost ten-year career as a flight attendant. At first, doctors thought it was Lupus, then Fibromyalgia, and a host of other misdiagnoses. Eventually, God sent a female doctor her way who specialized in treating Sarcoidosis patients, she got it right!

Since then it’s been an up and down battle, like being on a roller-coaster ride in cars made up of multi-symptoms and intrusive side effects. Clearly, the disease has progressed. However, Sarcoidosis is treatable and rarely fatal, except in instances where complications with the lungs, heart, or brain exist.

Every year doctors check my daughter to make sure that the disease has not spread to the brain, lungs or heart. This week she began having tests to determine if the disease has spread to other areas of her body, other than the ones already affected. So far, the eyes have been affected, she’s had eye surgery to correct the effects of Sarcoid.

Mobility due to joint, nerve and muscle pain has been an issue off and on for several years. She’s been prescribed various medications designed to treat nerve and arthritis-related conditions. Most of the have undesired side effects.

Throughout this troubling ordeal, my daughter manages to stay positive, hopeful that one day this debilitating inflammatory disease will somehow go into remission forever. Ooooh but today, as I think back over the course of this disease process that seems more unlikely than not!

Seeing her heading out to the west coast to see her first grandchild, my first great-grandchild, on a cane again crushed me. To that end, “I did not expect to see my young, once vibrant daughter that way ever again.” Perhaps I should be thankful that “no matter how bad it gets, and sometimes it gets pretty bad, she is usually upbeat.”

At the same time, “I’m a mother!” I can’t help but wonder if she’s putting up a front? Suppose she’s actually crushed or falling apart inside? Evidently, God doesn’t want me in there, I guess He keeps me on the outside where I can do the most good. This is the point where being a mother seems like more than I can bear!

Somehow, my daughter makes the best of every bad situation that this rare but brutal disease thrusts into her life. She’s using the same cane that she “pimped out” about three years ago after the disease decided to come out of remission for the second time. I don’t know how she does it? She’s like an Everready battery, she just keeps on moving, going, living her life as best as she can according to the physical limitations Sarcoidosis assigns.

So, where do I go from here? Today, I wanted you guys to know why I’ve been off the grid for weeks. After carefully considering the situation, it seems that the only way for me to post semi-regularly is to repurpose some of my faith-based academic writings here. This way, I won’t have to create here from scratch. Since Ohio Christian University is a faith-based university, all assignments tie in Biblical references. This will work!

For the last ten years, my life has been anything but stagnate, boring or uneventful. I won’t go into detail, doing so would be too much for my head today.

Some retirees say they go back to work because they’re bored. I don’t get that? There are so many ways for Christians to keep themselves occupied in addition to life’s constant barrage of drama that being bored for lengthy periods of time is by choice.

Back to the latest addition to the family. My grand-son-in-law and my oldest granddaughter are both Marines stationed on the west coast. A few weeks ago they gave birth to an 8.9 lb baby boy they named Josh. I want to end this post on a good note, what better way than sharing pictures of my great-grandson and his parents?


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