I am dying to talk with you about how to minimize painful regret in 5 minutes. I know, the possibility sounds too good to be true. But that’s only because all too often we see problems as roadblocks rather than pathways to a better place. Sometimes we discern struggles as punishment in lieu of prophetic progression. This perception leads to perceiving every unwelcomed predicament as hopeless.

According to Good “Regret is a negative emotion that occurs when a person believes his or her past actions or behaviors, if changed, may have achieved a better outcome. Regret is often closely associated with feelings of guilt and shame. We often express the emotion of regret to others in the form of an apology.”

Getting old has its perks and old people know things younger people don’t. That’s just the way it is. As it may be, a riveting downside of growing old is realizing how many regrets one has. Countless episodes of regret terminate at gravesites.

Keeping solutions aimed at managing regret spiritually simple rather than complicated is the first step to minimizing painful regret. Make no mistake, regret is a powerful emotion, so the longer you allow it to fester the more distress it induces.

All throughout adult life we behold the wrath of painful regrets. Every adult travels down a road or two of painful regret.  While the majority of people learn to weather storms of regret some end up caught in the crosshairs of self-pity, resentment toward another, an event, emotional or brutal encounter.

How to Minimize Painful Regret in 5 Minutes

Recognize that everything happens for a reason and whether good or bad the experience can be repurposed as a teaching moment. Use regrets as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks!

The lens of life is broad, designed to reveal more than meets the eye. It is highly capable or shedding new light into darkness. Numerous biblical stories plateau as eventual teaching moments morphed into unintended outcomes. In the Book of Daniel, Chapter 6:22 the Bible tells us Daniel was elevated to a high office by his royal master Darius the Mede. No doubt this was a high moment in his life. But things changed unexpectedly.


Daniel had jealous enemies who conspired to plot against him by targeting Darius’s sense of arrogance and pride. Daniel’s enemies convinced Darius to issue a decree that for thirty days prayers should be addressed to Darius himself, not God. The decree further stipulated; that should anyone disobey the directive they would be thrown into the lion’s den.

The consequence of continuing to pray to God was unthinkable. However, Daniel did not abandon his commitment to the Lord. As a man of God, he persisted to pray daily to the Lord of Israel, and to the king. Though anguished, because Daniel disobeyed his royal master’s order, the King had no choice but to throw Daniel in the lion’s den. “


What stemmed from Daniel’s imprisonment failed to accomplish the outcome his enemies craved. Alternatively, God turned Daniel’s fate of death by lions into favor by “sending an angel to close the jaws of the lions, “because Denial was found blameless before the Lord”. In other words, Daniel had done nothing to deserve the punishment. In the end, the king commanded that those who had conspired against Daniel be thrown to the lions in Daniel’s place with their wives and children so that the whole world should tremble and fear before the God of Daniel.

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive." Genesis 50:20

In the modern world there is no shortage of examples of God using evil against him for Good! One example that comes to mind entails events surrounding the pandemic and the 2020 election. Former President Donald Trump learned that without access to COVID 19 vaccines disproportionate numbers of people of color could die. This spoon fed knowledge prompted him to intentionally render COVID 19 vaccines off-limits to scores of people of color, economically disadvantaged Americans and anybody likely to vote Democratic. 

Basically, Donald Trump set in motion inactions designed to allow hundreds of thousands of Americans to die. Had the script been flipped as in the President being Black or Brown, withholding or making unavailable COVID 19 vaccines to predominately White Americans, that President would have been hung! 

Why did Donald Trump go to such extremes to hold office? Well he did it for a legal shield, personal gain, prestige and power! His evil motives and actions leave nothing to the imagination. 

There is nothing new under the sun where sin, evil and greed prevail. Once again the Lord turned evil to good causing Donald Trump to become a disgraced one-term President. His future is dim poised to prove    hands down that we reap what we sow. 

What about any of these two examples make you think about Christianity?

There is no God in the godless!

Rules for Regrets Revealed:

There are things I truly regret having done in my life. Some of the most memorable ones happened during the prime of my life when I was a young woman.  A lot of regret transitions as a result of one’s inexperience in making good decisions, anxiousness, and failing to thoroughly assess situations and potential outcomes. Too bad you can’t buy experience, So sad they cannot be taught!

And who does not know about regretful relationships? I believe this one is the “mothership of all mothers.” Relationship regrets begin early in life, they are seldom forgettable. We never forget the first time, the first love, or the first life-altering decision whether good or bad.

Mamas hate bad-boy boyfriends but many daughters seem to love them. That is until he proves mama right. Mama doesn’t enjoy saying “I told you so!” They just cannot help knowing what they know! They know things because God gave mothers a sixth sense, a special kind of wisdom, sometimes referred to as mother wit. Mother-wit empowers moms in ways no other sense can.

According to the Oxford dictionary, one definition of mother wit is:

  1. natural ability to cope with everyday matters; common sense.” with mother wit you’ll sidestep these hazards”

5 TIPS For Minimizing REGRET

  1. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1: 19
  2. “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11: 24
  3. Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.”Ecclesiastes 7:10 
  4. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
  5. “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5: 3-5

My mother was the oldest of 8 siblings so she had a natural instinct to protect, and nurture. Mom shared snippets of her childhood that highlighted having to drop out of school at a young age. She went to work in her hometown of Meridian Mississippi, picking cotton in the deep south. Alongside my grandmother mom willingly labored for pennies to earn money so younger siblings could attend school. The funny thing, I never heard mom say is she had regrets about any of that.

People don’t always regret the things other people think they should. Mom being a Black woman could never leave the past behind her. Perhaps the reason was it defined her future, making it impossible to obliterate. That said, she refused to let past regret dampen her passion to embrace a better life than her own mother clutched. Some people tend to be experts at recognizing signs of regret yet clueless about how to put them behind them. They don’t know God is able, can, and will relieve us of the stigma attached to profound regret.

An inability to put certain regrets behind us is not a bad thing if we use those events to rise above the pit of pity. Keeping select regrettable facts fresh can help avoid repeating costly or harmful mistakes.

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, Philippians 3:13

Once a mother’s been there, done that, she becomes relentless in her efforts to prevent her children from experiencing similar sorrow….” roads leading to regret.”  The kicker is, these days, “it seems like some people who should have regrets about certain mistakes, or actions say they don’t.” 

Reconciling with Regret

Letting go of the past is easier said than done, and learning to live with past mistakes is not the same as letting go, just as letting go is different than forgetting. Letting go means releasing oneself from the bondage of regret, which can choke you to death if you are determined to hold on to the past in an unhealthy way. Letting go means getting on with your life in spite of, encountering seasons of regret. We do not need to tackle overcoming deep-seated regret alone. The Father is here to comfort us, guide us, and pull us up out of the pit of unresolved regrets.

Prayer for Strength to Let Go of The Past

Lord, I kneel before You in humble submission and pray that in Your mercy and kindness You would help me to simply let go of all the fears and worries, problems and doubts, guilt and disappointments that seem to be filling my heart and mind so often, during the course of a day.

Heal my hurting soul. Shower me with your love and grace. Replace the emptiness and pain tearing my life apart with peace. Lord, You know what is in my heart and why I’m being tested but Father God I don’t. I can’t comprehend the reason nor what you long to get from this occurrence, I just have to trust you!

Help me Lord, to take every thought captive, to hand it over to You as it rears up in my mind, and help me to replace it with thoughts and words of Scripture that tell of Your great might and wonderful power.

Lord, You commanded us to think about whatever is lovely, pure, holy and good. I pray that You would help me turn my eyes of my heart upon Jesus and look to Him day by day. In Jesus’ name I pray. (Xavier EDU Jesuitresource)


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Yes! Yours truly could talk about other people’s regret all day long, but why should I when I have some of my own. One of them I remember like it was yesterday.  ”I regret that it took me so long to understand life in general.” While every road I’ve taken didn’t lead to regret, far too many did. One I’m constantly reminded of is all those years I let pass by and not teaching my children about the Lord at a younger age.

Teaching others about the Lord is not the same thing as going to church. We went to church but the church was not in us. It looked like it was but it wasn’t. It wasn’t. For at least child it’s too late. The time not only passed but the entire window of opportunity closed as well.

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Isaiah 43:18-19 

 Seeing our children under attack solidifies my regret in disturbing ways. During the time the kids were young we “dibbled and dabbled” in and out of the church, more out than in. That’s what I taught them, today I’ve got to own up to that. Even now I’m struggling with finding or staying in a church home, one that I feel right in. It’s so hard for me to pretend things are right when I know they’re wrong, especially where the church is concerned.

Regrets attributed to mistaking fantasy for fact tend to be endowed with unprecedented longevity. Then again, as I mentioned earlier, I had to go through some things, before I could identify most mistakes that lead to roads of regret.  In addition, accepting responsibility for making decisions that led to regret restored God’s favor. It became necessary to stop making excuses, blaming others, or living in denial. I had to put it all out there in a manner oblivious to the world.

In other words, a series of regrets opened my eyes to a new way of living one that prepared me for avoiding making numerous mistakes that lead to regret. To bypass roads leading to regret I had to get strategic about how I lived my life. It was necessary to become an intentional Christian not just one who goes through the motions, ignores the truth, and debates reality.

Whether I’m engaging in personal relationships, spiritual relationships, or making career or health decisions I’m not about to knowingly travel down more roads leading to regret. These days I’ve got a “GPS” system out of this world. It guarantees it will never point me in directions leading to regret… 

My heart, mind-body, and spirit are all on the same page, in every decision I make these days. Before I do it, I think through it. And at the end of the thought process, any option considered must first be honorable and then it must make sense and be the right thing to do.

Gone are the days of yielding to temptation. Acquiring excessive worldly things or pointless instant gratification that serves no godly purpose is no longer desire of mine. These days, seeking God’s guidance before making decisions is key.

Realizing it is impossible to go back down a road of regret to change an outcome was one of the most important lessons about life in the world.

“Roads leading to regret are often lined with red flags, sadly and all too often we ignore them.”



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