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Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.

1 John 4: 20

UPDATE: The reach out. “Just as I was finishing up this post my phone rang.” My cousin, auntie’s daughter was on the other end. She informed me that auntie passed away this morning. This means that when I spoke with auntie a few weeks was my last. But, I didn’t know that!

So, a few weeks ago I reached out to one of my favorite aunts. She’s elderly now, close to 80-years-old, my late mom’s last living sister. She had been on my mind for a while. Like so many other families “constant communication with other than immediate family members is lacking.”

I know too reach out to loved ones while you still can is easier said than done sometimes. is easy. The reasons people give for not reaching out as often as they should appear vary. Many say it’s complicated and shy away from talking about the issue. Actually, the fact is “life just seems to get in the way more often than we would like!”

Reach out efforts to contact my aunt was sufficient, that day, but what about all the days before, where no attempt was made? Essentially, the two of us contact each other 4-5 times a year. Auntie is on the west coast, and “yours truly” is in the midwest.

For the last three-plus decade’s auntie’s been the major caretaker to my cousin, her adult paraplegic son. Ever now and then, somebody voices concern over her doing too much in this regard.


Perhaps they don’t know or have forgotten that most mothers instinctively, and naturally nurture, care for and protect offspring, regardless of age.

Unlike a faucet, “loving mothers cannot turn the desire to nourish, nurture and protect their children on and off!” Thats not how God designed us!

Not knowing is not always the reason outsiders looking in often misconstrue the nature and extent of a mother’s resolve. The bigger issue seems to be with judging how she chooses to respond to her child’s needs without having ever walked in her shoes.

My way of looking at my aunt’s call to care for her son throughout his adult life was to credit the Lord. The way I see it, God put her there! Not only that, her role was predetermined way before time to commit arose. Even more, perhaps my role is to give spiritual as well as emotional support. Whose done a better job?

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs 18: 24

In this case, as is in other examples of failing to keep in contact with those we love, limited ways to communicate was not an issue. Even though my aunt is an older woman, she knows how to send a text message. And, I’m not putting the task of staying in contact on her, not at all. Just the opposite!

Basically, the intent here is to point out how many ways that I have at my disposal to do better about staying in contact. After all, she is the eldest, which means that “if anybody should be reaching out, it’s me!”


The irony of the subject, “failing to stay in contact with those we love,” is that people did better when the only option to contact a person other than face to face was the telephone!

Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.” James 4: 11

Seems like less is better in this instance. Think about it. Not only do people have the ability to send text messages, people with smart phones can see each other while engaging.

And, that’s not all. There’s email, Skype, and more. However, the above communication techniques are most popular.

More likely than not, after reading this post somebody will examine the verasity of their efforts to keep in regular contact with loved ones. At the least, this is my hope.

Then again, maybe not. As for this writer, examining the veracity of efforts exhausted to keep in contact with other than intimate family rendered unflattering results. To make a long story short, there is room for marked improvement.

Is there room for improvement in your efforts to reach out to loved one

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