The first man I ever loved dearly taught me how to love. He had traits of a good father, which encompassed a plethora of paternal attributes. However, a girl’s love for her dad is rarely affected by his imperfections.
To be honest, I don’t know if dad ever kissed my feet like the dad is doing on the featured image. But I do know he cherished the ground his three daughters walked on. And, that’s enough for me!
About daughter daddy issues, “take much of what random people who don’t have the issue, have to say, about the effect of absentee dad issues with a grain of salt.” Just like a woman doesn’t know what it feels like to be a man, these people don’t know what it feels like to long for the presence of a dad in their lives.
This does not mean people in this situation can’t show empathy, be a shoulder to cry on, or a good listener. It just means that not one can honestly say “I know what you’re going through.” Coincidently this also means not one can be an expert on the subject of feelings attributed to not having a dad present during their childhood. No one situation is identical.
More about the first man I ever loved dearly and how he taught me how to love? To begin with, being a woman is more complicated than it should be. We can credit men who didn’t feel that we deserved to be understood for that.
For as long as I can remember it’s been a man’s world. While the situation has improved, the elephant is still in the room.
That said, it would not be odd to learn that the average man doesn’t have a clue. That is “about how some women ended up so broken.”
Whenever the first man a woman ever loved is a good man, a loving man, a caring man, and God-fearing too, she’s blessed.
The above attributes should not be construed as a complete list of concrete, qualities most good men have. In all fairness, no man is perfect, so no matter how great one seems, something will be lacking. The same applies to women. For that reason, for those who find themselves confused, I would be remiss if I didn’t defer to the “Golden Rule.
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31
Obviously, Luke 6:31 was written for both men and women. And, men, I know what you’re thinking? Some women don’t know how to treat a good man! I agree, but that’s another talk show. This article is about us.
You see this post is about how men unknowingly shape the lives of girls, before they even become women. The inherent influence that men have over girls and women in pretty much every aspect of their lives proves “this is a man’s world.”
As it may be, women fare better if they learn that a man can be imperfect for somebody else, yet perfect for you.
My mom would say, “don’t listen to those women out there who think they know more about your man than you do.” If fact, she said never talk about problems in your relationship to just anybody.
But, I remember hearing my mom and my aunts talk about stuff, that involved dad and my uncles when we were little. They would make us leave the room, but we did everything in our power to eaves drop. LOL
James Brown proclaimed male dominance in song, when he recorded his powerful ballad titled It’s a Man’s World.”
Conversely, and remarkably Brown’s lyrical execution also ratified the indispensable worth of a woman. He put it like this, “It’s a man’s world, But it would be nothing, nothing, Without a woman or a girl!”
Ordinarily, after hearing such an attention-grabbing vocal display it would seem that there could be no greater accolade on behalf of women.
Subsequently, there is. Before Brown replaces a question mark with a period, he poignantly points out why the world would be nothing without a woman or a girl.
Most noteworthy is this proclamation:
“But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing, not one little thing, without a woman or a girl
He’s lost in the wilderness
He’s lost in bitterness, he’s lost lost!”
Another thing, women have the final say as to whether or not to carry a child in her womb! That fact alone authenticates a woman’s proportionate significance!
In most cases, the first man a woman ever loves is the one man she’ll never forget.
The first man a woman ever loves sets the standard for the type of mate she will be attracted to. Additionally, his way of engaging in dialogue with women in her presence effects how she interacts in relationships.
Perhaps, it’s time for all men and women to diagnosticate the gravity men’s presence has in a girl’s life! ”
By the way, father figures seem to be most instrumental in inadvertently paving roads that lead to womanhood. Perhaps that’s because most mothers see marriage as a major life accomplishment.
Consequently, daughters as well as son’s suffer or benefit from lessons taught by “the first man they ever loved.” For many women, the first man they’ll ever love will be father, step-dad or mama’s boyfriend.
As a rule, men transmit marked influence over those under them, whether boy or girl. To make matters worse, sometimes women enable less than sane men to lord over their offspring.
Let’s make sure that the first man our daughter ever loves is all that he can be given his personal situation.
Certainly, having material things, being financially secure makes being your man or father of your children easier. On another note, having those things in absence of love, doesn’t make him a good man.
The first man I ever loved was my dad. He was not a well-off man. Heck, he wasn’t even middle class, but he loved his three daughters.
Even more, I remember when my mom used to tell us stories about how poor we were. While I listened attentively, every time, “I didn’t know what she was talking about?” That’s because I didn’t know we were poor.
Our parents did a phenomenal job sheltering us from the storm.
Further, I don’t remember being hungry, without a bed to sleep in, or unloved. The first man I ever loved took care of us the best way he knew how.
As a result, I grew up expecting to meet and marry a man who would do the same. Similarly, I assumed the same man would love me, laugh with me, cry with me, and stay with me, forever.
Now, that said, don’t get my story twisted. This narrative is not intended to suggest that I nor my mom stayed at home to raise the kids. We worked outside of the home.
So, while my dad was the main bread winner, mom contributed, as did I as a wife and working mother.
Another thing, “til death do us part” did not play out in either my marriage, the first time. Not mine, not moms, but nobody ended up hating each other.
The first man I ever loved showed me that love doesn’t die with divorce.
Additionally, dad never allowed his anger to turn physical. Essentially, dad respected women and loved his wife, but still, he had faults.
As a result of some women being disappointed, defiled or abandoned, by the first man they ever loved it’s not uncommon to encounter women whose lives have been forever shattered. But, there is a light at the end of those tunnels for every girl or woman who takes it to the Lord in prayer.
Like I said, I don’t know if dad ever kissed my feet but I do know he cherished the ground his three daughters walked on. And, that’s enough for me!
Who was the first man you ever loved, good or bad?